Lying kids are simply kids in trouble; why do kids lie if they wasn't. So our turn as parents is to know where exactly the problem is. Do we need to define lying kids first?? Well, we define lying kids simply as kids who are not telling the truth! But define lying is not the thing which we all need to talk about. We need to know about why do kids lie and how to stop kids from lying.
When we catch lying kids in the act, we will certainly feel angry and frustrated. But the childhood education research insist that: lying is normal. That doesn't say it's not wrong, it just normal. Some more childhood education research even say that lying kids are more intelligence than others. Lying kids have a problem with their problem–solving skills. Which is one of our jobs to teach them it. That means the real problem is not up to kids, it's up to us.
why do kids lie and become lying kids
there are many reasons lead kids to lie, we are here showing some of the answers to the main question: why do kids lie?
lying kids because of fear:
they could be:
lying kids because of fear of punishment :
lying kids because of fear of making others disappointed:
- lying kids because of fear of fail:
Lying kids by habit:Lying can also become a habit. Young children may make us laugh when they tell lies. But just laughing will make it get worse. We have to teach them that lying is unacceptable even if it was harmless. And we have to encourage them to retract the lie.
lying kids by imitating others:may be we must have a closer look at our kids' friends, or their models in life. It is our job to protect kids from hearing lies around, and to teach them when they hear it that it's wrong. Starting with inside home is essential, justification the lies will make them think that they may be forced to lie sometimes. However if parents can't control their selves how cold their kids. Better than that is being brave to admit our faults.
Lying kids because they over predict a reaction:Putting boundaries is good, but they must be reasonable, a lot of "don'ts" (especially if they don't know why it was "don't" instead of "it's okay" ) that will force kids to lie sometimes for more space of freedom. That mean we must study our rules carefully.
How to stop kids from lying
Childhood education research shows that helping your child to be honest and responsible for his faults is the best way not to have lying kids. Which is (as we said earlier) normal during growing up, but it must not be allowed. Here are some ideas of how to stop kids from lying and understanding honesty:
- be the model you like to see in your kids: we have to do our best to make ourselves good trusting, self-regulating, and respectful adults. So we can be the best model for our kids.
- calm down your reactions: The cooler you are, the better you can discuss the problems and solve them. Allowing room for negotiation, compromise, listening before accusing, and keeping your volume down usually helps in paving the way for more honest communication. We want them to know that this behavior is wrong, and to avoid doing it in the future. Not just to punish them anyway.
- Use consequences that enhance the development of conscience: At the situations which they imagine feeling emotions such as anger and despair against their lies, it is best to calm down. And give them some time to think of what they have done, this may be much more better than doing what they have expected, and better in making them responsible for their own actions.
- Think of why do kids lie: was it because of fear? How do they feel? Scared? Ashamed? Guilty? This thinking will give you the best way to deal with them. Sometimes we need to change some of our ways in order to plant more confidence between our kids and us.
- Point out the logical results of lying: We must teach kids that telling the truth needs courage and it is harder than telling lies, but lies will result badly. The story of the boy who cried wolf will be good at this place. When we expect them to lie and they just say the truth, we must tell them that we are very happy that they did that. This will make it easier for them to tell the truth every time.
At last, childhood education research insist that the best way to teach our kids honesty, is to be honest ourselves. If we know exactly why do kids lie and were the best honest model, we will never have lying kids.