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| Children who steal |
Why Children who steal would steal at the first place
Children -from their young ages to older ones- are usually steal for several reasons:
• very young children take things they want without understanding or even thinking that things price money, and that it's wrong to get something without paying for it.
• School-age children normally know they are not likely to take a thing without having to pay, but they may do this anyway since they need enough self-control.
• Older children know very well that steal something is wrong, but might steal for enjoyment or because their friends do steal. Some may imagine they are able to escape with their stealing. And if there is more additional control over their lives, some children do stealing as a way of disobeying.
Several other complex reasons can be factors. Preschoolers could possibly be upset or want some more care. Their doings may reflect anxiety in the home, school, or with friends (you can read about anxiety in preschoolers). Some stealing are just a cry for help because of psychological or physical Harm they're enduring (you can read about children and depression).
There are many other reasons such as:
• Poor self-worth or respect
• recklessness and rush with strong desire and weak control
• Weak communications
• Angry
• Big event in family, such as a new job for mum (you can read separation anxiety in preschoolers)
Whatever the purpose for stealing, parents must know the basis of this problem and handle with all of other actual troubles.
How to deal with children who steal
1. Discover the reason of stealing:
For children, "steal" word is an adult phrase and may not mean anything. So if we found a candy in their hands or a toy car that turns up in their pockets after a visit to a friend's house, we must not call that stealing immediately. For young children, possession means ownership. Children under four can't easily distinguish between "mine" and "yours."
Between five and seven years children begin to realize the wrongness of steal. So we must teach our children how to control their selves, and respect the rights and property of others. We also have to realize why would our children steal if they already know this is wrong, are they mad of something? Have they any kind of anxiety or depression? Do they need something?
2. Be an attachment parent
Connected children are more sensitive, they can understand the rights of others earlier and even better and will respect them. These principles can be planted deeper and earlier. Connected children feel shame of their selves when they do wrong because they develop a self-watching sooner. And they have parents who are spending enough time with them.
3. Avoid things which may cause temptation for them
Most children who steal from family members think of these stuffs as a community property. And mostly they may think of getting it back later. So teaching children about privacy will help. At the same time, don't let tempted things at the surface, Sure family members trust each others, but avoid investigating things and blaming actions.
4. Teach them ownership
Young children have no idea what does ownership means. For two years old children, everything belongs to them. Between two and four they start to understand that these toys don't belong to them, but hardly they believe that they can't play with these toys whenever they want. So we must begin teaching them "mine" and "yours." Of course they won't fully understand that before they get to the age of four. As children get the idea of ownership and the rights that will go along with them, teach them that ignoring these rights is wrong.
5. Let our children correct what did they steal
Giving the stolen stuffs back requires huge courage. So we have to help our children doing that, in this way we are teaching them not only that stealing is wrong, but also that this wrong must be made right.
6. Reward honesty:
Children at five years old must be rewarded if they give something they found, especialy if it was a thing they love and want, such children must encouraged and praised, And even more better getting this thing back to whom it belongs and show our children how happy he is for finding what he lost. We should never say "Thank you for telling the truth." Cause our young children may not even have thought of taking what they found and keeping it, we must not plant this option in their minds.
Chronic stealing can be a demand interest. In case of big family events such as getting divorced, a new brother or sister, a new work with full-time, or somebody in the family get sick, stealing might be children's way of expression, "keep me in mind?" After we understand that, we have to tell our children that we know we've been a little busy of them, and we will try to get every thing quite right again.
If all our speech didn't work, and the steal won't stop; or if it was developing jointly with other antisocial actions, such as lying or cheat; or if children look like they steal to gain relationships, the trouble may need guide coming from a therapist.